Thursday, September 28, 2006

No Tea For YOU!!

Well I've had a spectacular week.

1. I got into another brawl with the lunch ladies at Liv's school. You'll recall I had it out with them last year as my daughter was charged for 4 breakfasts & never has eaten there for breakfast - not ONCE. It led me to further question their 'Accounting' system which consists of them asking the 5 year old kids to repeat their 6 digit number....HUMMM that should be good right? So I made them remove my daughters account digits & assured all parties that we would send in money each & every Friday she chose to eat their scrumptious lunch. This has been working with few hitches until I stopped briefly to pour a cup of tea from the premade dispenser. I have been there working for 5 weeks. I've been told by my teammates that tea is free. I've gotten tea in a cup almost every day I've been there. Today, it wasn't free. Nope, as a matter of fact it cost .25cents each cup & since I used my own cup, which I'm not supposed to do - it would cost more. ?????? Guess who had the honor of telling me I owed her money... one & the same lunch room Gestapo who I finger pointed with last year. Being on my lunch break I had no recourse but to apologize & beg forgiveness. Later that day I bounced straight up to the see you next tuesday & dropped a 5 spot on her sanitized counter. "you'll accept my donation & I'm sure you'll account for it properly!" & bounced my smug butt right out. Things you should never do or say to those in charge of you & your beloved kid's food.

2. Pissed my eldest brother right off... who knows if he's even talking to me. Don't offer advise toward other peoples kids... EVER. Even if you think it is in their best interest & you would want to be told cuz the truth is - no one wants to be told how to do it cuz none of us are doing it right!!!

3. Had a tremendous screaming match with my best friend who may or may not ever speak to me again. I said mean & hurtful things just because I was feeling mean & hurt. Never a good idea to talk when you're still hot about a subject. Best to just let it cool off & regroup.

4. Tomorrow, I'm headed down to the courthouse to evict a tenant whom I know has no place to go but this big bad slumlord has to cover her own business ass. I have warm fuzzies just thinking about it.

I'm feeling like just canceling my blog. What a horrible person I am? I don't deserve Christmas this year; maybe we should send all the $ from my gifts to the poor Indonesian children or something? Do you see a pattern here? Is it that time again? I don't think I can even use the PMS card on all of this - it's just me!!! uuggg.

Monday, September 25, 2006

Lemonade from BAD Hair Dye

I finally broke down & went to my stylist. He didn't suck oxygen out of the room like only a really cool gay man can do but he did give me the 'don't try this at home lecture'. Look at what a great job he did:

He said that though he could see the glaring fault with the color, that it has a somewhat 1930's/40's Marilyn Monroe shade to it and Voila - Just like her, no?

When I comb it (Yes, with a comb it's been years & I had to steal such an item from my child) it looks very cool. That whole side thing waves and stays somewhat down in a cute & definately 30's fashion. I've been out in the heat & it's a little froish in the above pictures so you'll have to use your imagination with me on this. I can't believe how cool my stylist is! Just like that, I'm supah cute again!

Estranged Deaths

I kinda got stuck there thinking about my mom & chatting with family. I guess it's time for a new edition of Kate's World. Here goes:

Lately (this weekend) there have been a slue of horrific accidents & untimely deaths in the Tampa Bay area. A gal was thrown from her boat off of Anna Maria Island this weekend (not in a PFD) and her remains washed up this morning in someone's back yard. The report stated that there were 4 people on the boat when it 'struck' a channel marker. Ok, you would have had to have hit the thing full tilt like 40mph to actually throw a body off-board & it's not hard to see a 15' tall piling with a big red sign atop it!! What were they thinking? So 3 of the 4 mariners climbed back in the boat giving high fives chanting 'do it again!' & they realize there's one less than when they left the dock. hummmmm; maybe she swam for it. Let's go back to the dock & see if she beat us there? How do you explain that to someone's husband...

Speaking of husbands; in an unrelated story in the low rent district of Tierra Verde, another woman was found dead by a gunshot wound to the melon. Also found in the modest $1.8 MILLION Estate was the estranged husband & 38 caliber handgun. He had attempted suicide but it didn't take. Get this; the EMS rush him to the hospital. WHY???!!?? is my only question. He offed his wife, attempted to save us all the hassel of dealing with his imbalanced ass & what do we as a society him! If he makes it out of ICU & manages to be able to feed himself where will he end up? In a costly courtroom which you & I will pay for because you can't really earn money to pay for a lawyer when you're a vegetable. Then where will he go? To jail - an even costlier situation than the hospital. We'll pay to host him as an inmate at the grand hotel Prizon until the day comes that we nationally televise his execution. ummm... does this seem wrong to anyone but me? Oh & to top it all off, his estranged wife - Divorce Attorney Stacey Plummer probably has a big fat pile of money just sitting around to cover the cost of all this extrodinary mess but because she's DEAD, her bank accounts, investments & assets are divided up amoungst her cats. So who foots the bill for that final dose of 'Big Sleep Cocktail' (come on, you know) you & me.

Maybe estranged husband should have sent Attorney Plummer out on the boat ride to Anna Maria... Two birds, One Piling!!

That's what's new in Kate's world.